Oh no he didn't.

Oh yes he did.

Asking why men are idiots is like asking why the sky is blue. I'm sure there is some long, complicated explanation that will bore me to death, but the short answer is: because they are.

J**** and I met for "the last time" on Sunday to talk everything through…again. And although I knew what to expect from it, there was no way in hell I was going to let him drive away without first taking me out to IKEA and then spending 3 hours putting together the furniture for me. I mean, he's the one with the car. And the issues - but that's for another conversation. One that involves rum.

At step 35 of the 46-step process, we start the "talk".

Him: So, where so you think we are right now?

Me: Well, I think we broke up the last time we talked, but then you asked to meet me, so now I'm confused again.

Him: Well, you are right. We did break up. But more specifically, I broke up with you.

Blink.

Blink blink.

OH NO HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, especially since I was the one who told him to STOP CALLING ME AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HE WANTED.

So, I did the only mature thing I could think of considering there were still 10 steps of putting the monster IKEA thingy together. I walked to the bathroom and threw his toothbrush in the toilet.

Take THAT.