I just found out that Adam Goldstein (DJ AM, as he is known) passed away on Friday. I have no idea why, but I find myself strangely affected by his death.
Setting aside the part that he was a 'celebrity', he wasn't the most followed person on the planet. He lived his life, was well-liked by everyone who met him, celebrity or not. Recently, he survived a plane crash, and said that every day he wondered why he -- and not the others on the plane -- had survived that tragedy.
Despite his history with drug use, of which he talked openly (he was sober/drug free for nine years, apparently), he just seemed like a normal, regular guy. I'm not sure if I'm expressing myself correctly, because I can hear people say 'yes, but he was a celebrity, and it comes with the territory'. But from what I read (which is not much, I admit), he wasn't into the limelight or the 'circuit'. He just loved his music.
Wow. This post was supposed to be about me successfully running my 16k on Saturday, despite having gone out with my friends the night before. And about what a difference it was compared to the last time I tried to run it. But, perhaps that will have to wait now.
I guess the part that kills me is that, to date, the news is reporting that after nine years he fell off the wagon....for one night. Speculation -- as credible as it can be -- is that he was depressed over a recent split with his girlfriend and post-trauma from the plane crash.
Who wouldn't feel that pain? Even without the plane crash as a mind-fuck, millions of North Americans deal with depression everyday of their lives. I'm one of them, and I live everday with the knowledge that it could only take one thing - ONE LITTLE THING - to tip me over the edge. And as much as I think about how much I love my family and friends, and how much I have going for me, when you are in that particular state it really means nothing. You honestly think you'll be better off, and that they'll be ok without you.
It's never the case.
He was just a guy. And he felt tremendous pain. And he felt alone.
Go hug someone.
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