As Gretchen Wilson says: HELL YEAH!
So, I recently made a very quick trip into Toronto…literally just enough time to get off the plane, scratch my butt and blow my nose. But oh, Oh, OH did I eat.
First, I must apologize to my good friend, Miss JBot, to whom I owe my life. I’m sorry darling, but for you I want to put away a good 12 hours for a visit. And unfortunately, this trip didn’t afford it. But I PROMISE I will make it up to you. You mark my words.
OR, you could take a trip to the ends of the earth and visit me in a tiny little crooked house with limited cable channels, a neurotic dog and a front window that looks straight into my landlord’s house…your choice.
Yeah, I know. I’ll be back in Toronto soon.
ANYHOW, while scratching my butt and blowing my nose, I stuffed my face. And while I thought for sure I would, you know, take advantage of being in a beautiful hotel by taking numerous baths, swimming in the indoor/outdoor pool or going for a manicure, I totally didn’t.
Why? I ATE THAI! AND ETHIOPIAN! AND SUSHI! AND INDIAN! And now my stomach is exploding. And not in a good way. And yes, I am going there again. Because sometimes, kids, sometimes you need to take one for the team. And I took enough to last me 18 years. And then some. And I have the bowels to prove it.
Need pictures? You’re gross. And I would totally do it again. HELL YEAH!
But the best part? THE BEST PART? The fucking beds. Honestly. I even asked the front desk. I said “Dudes. Where on earth do I get these beds? I seriously do not want to get out of them.” They said “You can’t. They are exclusive to our hotel.”
I can’t? I CAN’T? WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXCLUSIVE? For fuck’s sake! I need a bed like the one in your hotel!
That’s when they called the police.
Thankfully there were no arrests, but it took a while for me to explain from the backseat of the police car that it was an accident that I groped the concierge with the nice ass. I totally didn’t mean it, sweetie. (Call me!)
I’m bloated, salted, pickled and somewhat full. Although I could probably eat another 50 pounds of this stuff.
I’m so happy I could cry.
Well thank you for the shout-out! I totally understand.
ReplyDeleteWas it a business trip or did you really miss the food that much?
Again, I would totally understand, if you could see the amount of thai food we ordered and stockpiled in the fridge, you would see how much I understand...