Thinking...

1) Roxy is afraid of things frying in the kitchen. Why didn’t I know this before? Oh right….I don’t cook.

2) I’m obsessed with the Zac Brown Band. Specifically with the song Chicken Fried. I think because it talks about home-made wine. And jeans that fit just right. And cold beer on a Friday night. Oh forget it…why don’t I just sing you the song?

3) Speaking of chicken fried, I just bought the SECOND GLEE SOUNDTRACK!!! Watch out, momma’s coming to a town near you…

4) This makes me laugh more than my dog getting stuck in deep snow.

5) I had to rescue my dog from deep snow.

6) I may or may not be guilty of accidentally-on-purpose throwing a stick repeatedly into deep snow and watching my dog try to swim her way out of it. Does that make me a mean person?

7) My aim is very, very bad.

8) I had dinner with my ex recently. Nothing happened, which is unfortunate…because the engine could use a little tune-up, know what I’m sayin’?

9) I could live inside my friend Coco Chanel’s custom-built dressing room. Yes, she has a room in which she dresses. Yes, she’s cute. Yes, she’s an amazing person. No, you can’t have her number.

10) I just want to pinch that guy’s bum. It’s just so…round.

11) But I don’t want to get arrested. Again.

12) Rum. Rum, rum, rum.

13) I’m still addicted to Brickbreaker. Still.

14) I recently petted someone’s pelt. Oh get your mind out of the gutter. It was an actual pelt! Now where he had it was interesting…. Oh get your mind out of the gutter! It was on his head. Oh get your mind out of the gutter! On his head, head! The one with the hair! Oh, forget it….

15) I’m still trying to figure out why my friend Coco’s husband would want to translate “I don’t like short pants because my dick hangs out like a Csabai sausage at the Hungarian butcher shop” into Hungarian. His friend told him it would be a “smash hit. Like the ‘copter’ in my bedroom.”

16) Uhm…and I’M STILL SINGLE????