We Are SO Going To Hell

So after a few more emails regarding my mother's melanoma gift, including this gem:

I can't sit in the yard. It's full of wet soggy dog shit. And it still has some snow in it. I would be lost in the white snow...cause I am so white.

I am getting a dye job on Tuesday.....hair cut. She's even going to dye my WHITE eyebrows, which you can't see because they match my WHITE skin.

I wanna be tanned by my birthday. I wanna look gooooooood when I look in the mirror as I hit 64. As you know, tanned flab always looks better than WHITE flab.

This is a truth.

Actually don't mind my white hair...I did think of not getting it dyed. But, then white hair only looks good if you have some colour, as in a bit of a TAN on your face.



We couldn't take it anymore and did this:

Yeah. So basically we gave her cancer for her birthday. 3 weeks early.