Things I Know

• When you fart at work, someone will inevitably show up in your office.
• Nothing compares to the feeling you get jumping in a lake.
• Frying bacon in your swimsuit hurts.
• I get a mini-back massage when Roxy sleeps and dreams she’s running.
• A good book makes you miss the characters when you’re finished reading it.
• I make a mean edamame soup. If only I could find edamame up here.
• Music can change everything.
• Winter tires do make a difference.
• There are no Korean or Thai or Ethiopian restaurants where I live. But they do have a Wendy’s up here, so, you know. That’s ok.
• My earrings are too big, according to my niece.
• You will get a chip in your windshield.
• Games are underrated.
• Running through a sprinkler makes you feel like a kid again. Even if you’re sixty-five.
• I talk a lot. Sometimes.
• You only need to hit the space bar once after a period. The computer automatically double spaces it.
• Being nice is worth it.
• I have a family who loves me. Even when I accidentally leave dental floss on the floor. Or, like, in the sheets.