My mother went to the hairdresser a few weeks ago. Normally she goes and gets the full tune-up: hair, eyebrows and upper lip. Yes, I mean waxing. I have a beautiful moustache that I get waxed. In fact, just the other day I was getting my eyebrows done and when I asked the girl if I could get away without doing my lip, she hesitated for just a minute before going “…well, uhm…”
I got my moustache done.
Anyhow, back to my ma. So there she is, getting her hair done, head tilted back, enjoying the woosh of warm water. When she gets back to the chair, the hairdresser gently puts her hand on my mom’s shoulder and says:
“I hate to have to tell you this, but…it’s time.”
Mom: “Oh no. Time for what?”
Hairdresser: “Time to get your chin waxed.”
Mom: “Dear Lord, I knew it.”
My mom told me this story, and once I stopped laughing she launched into this sermon on being a woman. Now, it may not be word for word, but it’s got my ma’s edits and stamp of approval, so I know it represents.
My mom on being a woman:
We go through puberty. We grow boobs and have to walk around with a bra on for the rest of our lives. Then we menstruate. Painful monthly periods for most of our lives. We shave, we pluck.
Not fair.
We get pregnant and get morning sickness. Then we go through the pain of labour and birth.
Not Fair!
We finally stop menstruating and start menopause. We get hot flashes. We sweat. We deal with raging hormones.
Then, we get a moustache. We start waxing. We get long, white hairs on our chin.
And finally, after surviving all that…a beard! Our chins need to get waxed. I mean, really? Where does it end?
NOT FAIR!
My main point is that after being a woman and going through all that, we end up with beards and moustaches. It pisses me off.
At least we don’t have to worry about getting it up. But it’s still not fair.
Who reads this blog anyways?
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