GLEE

Have you watched Glee on TV? If not, you are missing one of the greatest shows on TV right now. I've managed to cry at every episode because of the music. Honestly - it's so fantastic I can barely keep from swearing. And as you know, it's incredibly fucking hard for me not to swear. Oops! I just did. See?

Look it up - check out Lainey Gossip and scroll for links. If you can't find it there find it somewhere else - it's honestly too good to give up.

As for me...well, let's just sat my day wasn't so "glee"-ful. I've been sick for a whole week - a WHOLE WEEK - and even got sent home on Tuesday because...and I quote...I was "juicy".

Ewww. Just the word makes me squirm.

Anyways, this week has been somewhat insightful. For example, I learned why grocery carts are stolen.

Steal a cart? Yes. Let me explain, just to give you the full experience of my day today.

First, it started with Roxy being a total bitch. And even though some would argue that, in fact, that's what she is, it was totally lost on me. She was a barking and leash-pulling maniac at 7:30 this morning, and it was all I could do not to strangle her. STRANGLE HER!

Which I didn't, by the way. Oh, you're a good dog. Sometimes. Now get out of my face. NOW.

And then I got my period. 'Nuff said. Not good, ever. Unless you're trying to get pregnant...which would make me the next Virgin Mary. Because I'm so pure.

So, fine. I am woman, hear me roar. Or whine. Whatever. I get to the grocery store. I get to the checkout; the woman says "where's your car?"

Me: "I don't have a car. I'm walking."

Her: "WHAT? You DON'T have a car? (scathing look). YOU will never be able to carry this home...I mean, I CAN BARELY LIFT IT!"

Me: "uhm..ok, whatever."

Her:"You MUST take a grocery cart home. Just make sure - MAKE VERY SURE - you BRING IT BACK. Have I mentioned how important it is to BRING IT BACK? BRING IT BACK."

Me:"Uhm, OK. (sniff)"

I think her head turned around at least once. I mean, full-exorcist-head-turn. OK! OK, I will bring it back!

And then it started to pour.

So, not only am I looking like a loser for pushing the cart home, almost tipping it TWICE on Toronto's fabulous paved streets, but now I am SOAKED. Soaked to the bone. And cursing my brains out.

Cry? You betcha.

And I wonder why I can't get a date.

Sigh.