Sexual Healing

Have you ever noticed how pleasant all those voice-activated operators are?

"How can I help you today? Please press 1 for billing, and 2 to speak to an operator!"
"You've pressed 2 for an operator! If you want to talk to the operator regarding billing, please press 1! If not, please press 2!"
"Alright, you want to talk to an operator! To help you better, please tell me what you would like to talk about. For example, you can say 'billing'!"
"Sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you say billing?"
"Goodbye!"

Stupid bitch. She likely has never had sex.

Speaking of which, I've had to take up knitting to get rid of some 'extra energy', especially since I injured my leg and can't run. Oh, and since I was dumped.

I made a nice scarf - which someone is getting for Christmas - and bought some new yarn for another scarf. THIS one, will be made with knits AND purls!

Ooohhhh...ahhhhhh.

Yes, this is what takes place in my apartment. Call me a crazy bitch, call me a llama. I took up knitting. To take my mind off sex. Probably not the best option, I know. I'm exploring others as we speak...like salsa dancing. I signed up for lessons and the first calss takes place next Monday.

Uhm, did I mention I have no beat?

I'm really looking forward to this class. The enrolment is limited to a certain number of men and women so that they can make sure we all have partners. My class, surprisingly, is full already. Which means I'll have a partner. Who is male.

Now, the romantic side of me wants to believe that this guy will be my age and super-hot. We'll end up getting along really well, and he'll appreciate my...uhm...assets. Then we'll get married and live happily ever after.

Did I mention he'll be rich too?

But, Murphy's Law will step in. It will dictate that my partner will be some short bald man who just got dumped. He'll either be emotional, overly-macho or trying to restore his dignity by making me feel like an absolute tool.

Sooo...I'm really at a loss as to what to expect. My ONLY HOPE, the ONE THING I am praying for is that I learn how to get a beat. And the rich good-looking guy.

I don't think that's too much to ask, is it?