Today, Part Deux

So, the REAL reason I started about my day is because, really, it was a good day. Not that the sun was shining out my ass or anything, but a good day.

I mean, I've been on a 30-day cleanse for a bit. Ok, ok, 8 days to be honest, but it is WAY easier than the last time; likely because I knew I needed to do something to change.  So, I'm trying. I've been sleeping better, my skin is awesome, and  I have a lot more energy.

But, let me tell you a story. A story about why I sometimes need me some rum and Diet Coke.

So, today I go out to look for stuff, stuff for either my kitchen or front entrance. I know exactly what I what, but you think I can find it this God-forsaken city? Lord, no! And I looked. Like, ALL F*CKING DAY.

Anyhow, I end up at my favourite esthetician place to give me two eyebrows instead of one, and remove my moustache.

What? You live up north, you have a moustache, period.

Anyhow, I mention to her that I want to book a pedicure. And wouldn't you know it, they have a cancellation RIGHT NOW.*

*Can I just say, this never, ever happens here. She is normally booked up for WEEKS! For once, fate is on my side! YAY*

Ahhh! Afterwards, I have nice feet. My toes are painted with some 'TAPAS' colour. I am feeling good. I am feeling relaxed. And then I walk into my semi-crooked tailer and....

....discover my ma's new dog (who I am babysitting) has some sort of affection for my used feminine products that he found in the garbage.

Like, he loves them. A lot. All. Over. My. House. He loves my used feminine products so much that he tried to make some sort of Jackson Pollock painting in my living room.

A long time ago when I was living with my sister, Petal, in London ON, she and my pesky-brother-in-law told me not to forget to to close the bathroom door during that time of the month because her dog liked...uhm....THAT stuff. But I did forget. Once. And I never forgot it. Until now.

Let me tell you, I will never, ever leave garbage out again when that sh*t head comes over. So help me God, I shall never go hungry again! Oh wait...I mean, I'll never leave personal items out again when stupid dogs are over. Thank Goodness Roxy is so smart.

Hey, Rox....stop licking the floor. No seriously....stop it.