Why I Don't Cook...Part Deux

So, after the whole chicken fiasco, I decided that I should just pick myself up, dust myself off and try this whole 'cooking' thing again. This time, though, I was going to try something different. I was going to cook (drumroll please)...some sort of meat. Perhaps even a roast!

I don't know a lot about roasts (quelle grande surprise). I figured I would just go and look at the large pre-packaged hunks of meat in the appropriate section of the grocery store and pick something that looked good. And was cheap.

So, I chose a sirloin tip roast. AND, I only had to make two calls to my sister when I was cooking it! I put salt and pepper all over it and shoved garlic in various spots and it was...well, it was DYNAMIC. Stupendous. Delicious. Amazing. Orgasmic! (yes, yes, I know...the man department is still lacking.)

I had a feast that night. And then I ate it the next night. And the next. And the next! And I was so proud of myself for creating this WONDERFUL CULINARY EXPERIENCE!

Until....

I found this:

Is that a hard piece of steel in my meat or are you just glad to see me? I know, bad joke. Couldn't resist.

I found it in the middle of my roast. In my delicious culinary creation. Not exactly what I was expecting, especially when I saw this in the remaining piece:

Hmm. Now, I'm no Julia Child, but I don't think that's supposed to be there. Right? Unless, it was a part of my fork? Although...I don't own a fork with tines that long. And pointy. And sharp.

Turns out it was a piece of the apparatus that tenderizes the meat.

Well, that's new!

Unfortunately the grocery store can’t tell what processing plant it came from because I didn’t have the original packaging, but they have narrowed it down to three. They've contacted each of those plants and are waiting to hear back from them.

I found out tenderizing forks are supposed to be changed often, so it is likely that the whatever plant the meat came from has already changed them. I asked the person who was dealing with this situation – who was very good, I must say – whether the plants have to let them know if there is ever a problem with the processing; for instance, if the forks are changed, and they noticed a set was broken, what is the process? Don't they need to let people know?

She said that the incident should be logged by the processing plant, and any affected stores (where the meat was sent) should be notified. In this case, they have no notifications from any plants....yet.

Hmm.
I have to admit the store handled it really well. And, in their defense, it wasn't their fault. They receive the meat from a plant monitored by the Canadian Food Inspection Agency. The day I brought this piece in, they took down all the meat they had on the shelf and continued to follow-up with me throughout the investigation. They also gave me a $50.00 voucher for my troubles.

So, in conclusion: Big pointy thing in my meat. Sounds kinky. But it's not.