Things You Don't Want To Hear.....

Things You Don't Want to Hear From the Captain After You've Strapped Yourself Into A Tube They Call A Plane


Captain - Hello everyone, this is your captain again. Updated information on our ETA, we will land at 11:40, not 1:40 as I previously indicated.  Sorry, we've been going non-stop for the past little while and started early this morning....so we don't even know what day it is never mind the time...."




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Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Mother


So, I was telling my ma about a dream I had where she grabs my shoulders, tells me that she doesn't care how much weight I've gained and how nice my body is, but that she has a problem with my fat face and the length of my hair.


After I tell her she says: Sweetie, I don't care what your body looks like, as long as you're healthy. And you're trying. I'm proud of you. And your face....well, you're beautiful. You're so lovely.


Aw...I love my momma. She's awesome.


And then...:"But I like your hair longer."


Ok, Ma.  I get it.