Saturday, March 22, 2014

Conversations with my Mother - Medical Edition

Scene: Ma just returned from a trip to visit my brother and his family. She is checking her phone messages.


Her: So, I got two messages while I was away.


Me: Yeah?


Her: One that my taxes are done.


Me: Oh good! That was fast.


Her: And the other one that I am scheduled for cardiac surgery in May.


Me (freaking out a bit): WHAT THE F*CK?!?! Cardiac surgery?


Her: I'm so excited!


Me: Ma, what...when...how did this all come about? Cardiac surgery??? What's going on?


Her: (thinking for a bit) Car...wait - CATARACT surgery. Oops.


Me: Oh Holy Mother of God. That is just a little bit different than cardiac surgery.


Her: Well, they both start with a "C"...


I ask you - is this woman precious or what?


Now excuse me while I go have a cardiac event.



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