Scene: Ma just returned from a trip to visit my brother and his family. She is checking her phone messages.
Her: So, I got two messages while I was away.
Me: Yeah?
Her: One that my taxes are done.
Me: Oh good! That was fast.
Her: And the other one that I am scheduled for cardiac surgery in May.
Me (freaking out a bit): WHAT THE F*CK?!?! Cardiac surgery?
Her: I'm so excited!
Me: Ma, what...when...how did this all come about? Cardiac surgery??? What's going on?
Her: (thinking for a bit) Car...wait - CATARACT surgery. Oops.
Me: Oh Holy Mother of God. That is just a little bit different than cardiac surgery.
Her: Well, they both start with a "C"...
I ask you - is this woman precious or what?
Now excuse me while I go have a cardiac event.
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