Attila the Hun

My brother, sister-in-law (who is NOT pesky) and two sweet little nieces popped over for dinner the other night. Ok, one of my nieces is sweet; the other one is like a bulldozer in a china shop.

The oldest likes to think of herself as a ‘Princess’. She wipes dirt and snow off of her boots, dresses up in pink and wears dresses or skirts whenever she can.

The youngest seeks dirt out. She eats rocks and rolls in mud. If it’s not tied down, it will come down if she’s around. She whipped off the entire contents of my mom’s dinner table with one swift pull on the tablecloth. She’s ripped off earrings, glasses and other items and flung them across the room. She’s toppled over my sister’s sound system. And then she laughs and claps her hands.

My mom calls her Attila the Hun. She’s also known as Trouble, The Hulk and That One Who Got Me Sick For Three Weeks.

So, That One and I had a little one-on-one on Sunday, when I pulled her aside to give her hell about making me sick. What. She’s too young to need therapy about it.

Me: Hey! Hey you with the face.

Her: Ah-wa.

Me: Yeah, you. You made me sick. Look at me! I can barely talk!

Her: Aaahhhh!

Me: I can’t even say that! And I cough all the time. And now your other Auntie is sick as a dog, and your uncle says is going to kill me with a chainsaw because I gave it to her!

Her: Crap!

Me (to my sister-in-law): Did she just say crap?

Sister-in-law: It sure sounded like that.

Me: Listen here, little one. You’ve wreaked havoc on my life. It will not happen again, understand?

Her: Hhhooo-waah!

Me: Ok, I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Sister-in-law: I don’t think you’ll be winning World’s Best Auntie anytime soon.