The Two-Week Dry Challenge...

...was accidentally hit by rum last night. Oopsie.

So, I'm gonna try it again. Starting today, no drinkies for Redkap until January 17th. Hopefully, anyways. I want to do this just to prove to myself I can. I mean, two weeks, right? How hard can it be?

Judging by the fact I only lasted two DAYS last time, I guess it's harder than I thought. BUT, that's why I'm putting it in writing, Internet. So now I have to be accountable. To the thousands of people who read this blog! OK, the three people (ok, ok, two readers, not counting me) - but you know what I mean.

In other news, I took my first-ever downhill skiing lesson today, and I'm pleased to report there were zero broken bones. One cutie-patootie ski instructor...and I can say that even though he is married with kids (figures, fuck).

And, I didn't fall down once...unless you count the time when I was standing by the chalet trying to take the skis OFF. But since I wasn't really moving, that only counts as .5 of a fall.

Did I mention the temperature? No? Well let me sum it up this way: FUCKING COLD. It was -22 when I left the house, and with the windchill it was a balmy -36. We were out for two hours on the hill, and luckily cootie-patootie-married-ski-instructor started to freeze his balls off, so we took breaks to warm up.

Like, five-minute breaks.

Let me explain something. This body takes more than five minutes to thaw. Especially my delicate little toes. That little spot on thighs where the bar comes down for the ski lift? Yeah, I'd give it a good 15-20 minutes at least. I mean, frozen steaks take at least an hour, right? Think of me as a big piece of meat. Frozen meat. Steak. Prime rib.

Mmmm...prime rib.

3 more downhill lessons + 1 cutie-patootie-married-ski-instructor + 0 broken bones + 3 possible falls (I'm guessing here, but I have a feeling I'm gonna be a rock-star) = 100 gallons of fun for RedKap. Me likey.