Obituaries!

Ok, I know....obituaries aren't exclamation point worthy, but seriously. Who gets the last word?? I'd love it to be me.

I saw that a young guy - 53 - wrote his own obituary in the paper.  I read it and thought to myself "self, I think that's f*cking amazing. You get the last word!" So, in that spirit, here is my take at an obituary, should I check out early. Which, by the way, I am SO NOT PLANNING ON DOING!! But let's say I get hit by a bus, or struck by lightning, or, I don't know....attacked by someone who OH MY GOD NEEDS THIS CROOKED TRAILER!!! Seriously, you never know, right?

'If you're reading this, that means I've passed.  Darnit it all - I still have a lot to say. But ok, if this is it, then the one good thing that's come out of this is that I get to see those who passed before me, especially my Dad Bill Roll (date) and my sweet sister Tracy Roll Passmore (date), who saved me more than I can say. 

I deeply loved and was deeply loved by my sweet family: my dear momma, Dorina Passmore, who I regularly teased about her mis-words; my dad, Jim Passmore, to whom I lost a significant amount of my retirement money playing crib; my sweet little brother Ken, who I still call 'Kenny' without his knowing; and my unflappable sister Cheri Anderson, who often re-jigged my compass so I could finally find my way, over and over.

I'm gonna miss so many others, including my pesky brother in laws Scott Anderson and Scott Robertson, even though they were pesky. To my fabulous sister in law Renee...I don't even know how to tell you how much you meant to me, and I can't  talk about how much I love my nieces Alyssa and Avery. They were my world. And will continue to be. And to my Uncle Jim and Aunt Joyce Roll, and Sandy Roll - thank you.

Although I played the lottery and never won, I really won the jackpot with my friends and family, including my Jules, my Ali, Shannon and Jeff Reuter (Hi Fockers!) and my Christa Dewar. There are so many others from near and far who made my life sweet and jumped in when I needed them. And to m wonderful MNRF family, you made 'livin the dream' so much easier, and fun.

I know there were hard times, but I really hope that people remember my laugh, my voice - which when I was excited could reach decibels that made some say "You know...when you talk like that I get a pain in my left eye..."

I loved singing like Ethel Merman, dancing, my sweet dog Roxy, rum, cheese, and a lot of other things. Although I love flowers (who doesn't?) let's make a difference to animals and people by donating to the Timmins Humane Society and the Timmins and District Hospital.  You're all awesome! Peace out, dudes.

Love, KP, Squirt, RedKap."