Crib + Dad = OMG!

Last week my dad took $8.00 off me after many, many games of crib. I told him he should really feel bad for taking money from his daughter; he said he WOULD feel sorry for me, but since I work as a public servant he doesn't because it's likely I don't do anything all day anyway.

Hmm.

I think I've mentioned before about my dad's Crib Theories. He was born with a crib board and a deck of cards in his hands, I'm sure. There are rules, you see, rules that if you don't follow he will remind you of again and again. And then, just to make sure you don't forget, he'll remind you...again. Like pegging. OH MY GOD, I wasn't pegging correctly and it led to an hour of "see how easy pegging is? See how I'm using these bunches of five? If that's five, and I have 8, then I go five here and then three more. See? See how easy that was?"

Good grief.

 To give you an idea of what I mean, here are "Dad's Rules of Crib-Iquette":

1) Know how to count (apparently my 'new math' of 8+4 = 16 doesn't fly).
2) Know how to peg (see paragraph above).
3) Show your cards when you count.
4) Know your card count before you put the cards down.
5) When you are done counting, put your cards in front of the next dealer so they don't have to reach over to get them.
6) See Rule #1
7) If the number of games won are tied, I will make a new rule to make you play more games so I can take your money.
8) See Rule #2
9) If you don't know want to do with your cards, just make a decision already!
10) When I win, it's strategy. If you win, it's luck.