Alarm Clock

Have you ever watched the movie Nanny McPhee? It's a kid's story really, but it stars Emma Thompson and Colin Firth, and it is SO GOOD. Of course, this is from someone who thinks Frozen is Oscar-worthy and The Little Mermaid is not a fairy tale.

ANYHOW, the other morning I walked into the living room when I woke up and HOLY COW. I guess Roxy was a little gassy and I'm telling you, it's a good thing I don't smoke because when I would have lit that match my entire crooked trailer would have been history.

Roxy seems to have this weird little internal clock that goes off every morning at about 6:30. I hear her click-click-clicking down the hall, and I know I'll have to let her out so she can walk over to the neighbour's house and take a poop, which I will need to pick up before I leave. It's a good thing my neighbour works night shift and doesn't know that Roxy prefers her front walk as her poop area.

So when it comes to Saturday and Sunday - or any other day I can actually sleep in - her little schedule is completely F*cked. Up. It goes something like this:

6:30-ish: Roxy clicks down the hall, I let her out. I go back to bed.

6:45-ish: Roxy scratches at door to be let in. I let her in and go back to bed.

6:50: Roxy grabs a toy and comes clicking back down the hall. Uses stairs to jump on bed (yes, I have stairs...she's old!) and wants me to play. I throw the toy to the end of the bed and she lays down to play.

7:00: Roxy realizes I am still in bed. Starts wondering if there is something wrong with me. Sticks her head into my face to investigate.

7:05: I pat her head for a bit and tell her she's a good girl. She wags her tail. I try to go back to sleep.

7:15: Roxy is still wondering what the heck I am still doing in bed. Starts considering serious action. Crawls on top of my body and sticks her head in my face again to see if I'm alive.

7:20: After assuring her that yes, I am alive, and that all I want to do is sleep in for a bit, she finally goes to the end of the bed and lays down.

7:25: Roxy sighs.

7:35: Roxy sighs again.

7:45: Roxy realizes that she has missed her normal walk time by 15 minutes. Starts to panic. Pants heavily.

7:46: I ignore panting.

7:50: Realizing panting is not working, again climbs on top of my body and pants in my face.

7:51: I start to get annoyed that I CANNOT SLEEP IN DAMMIT.

7:52 - 8:30-ish. Repeat. so, I can't really say I slept in because I've been UP SINCE 6:30 TRYING TO SLEEP IN.

Sigh.