Salpingo-Oophorectomy!

That is the ' official' name of the operation I'm having next Wednesday. I love the way it sounds so much that I have decided to start shouting it out randomly throughout the day.

Coworker: Hey RedKap! How was your weekend?

Me: Salpingo-Oophorectomy!

****

Telephone: Brrring! Brrring!

Me (answering): Salpingo-Oophorectomy!

****

Clerk: That'll be 39.95

Me: Salpingo-Oophorectomy!

Clerk: (silence)


You get the picture. Try it yourself - I'm sure you'll like it. Basically it means that the doctor is going to rip out one of my ovaries and a fallopian tube. I say "rip out", but it's more like "carefully remove", I'm sure. Actually, he says he is going to try and save my ovary in case I wanted to have kids in the future. I was like, 'Dude! I haven't had a date in like, THREE YEARS! I don't think losing an ovary is the issue!'

I wasn't too worried about the surgery until I went to the pre-admission clinic and the nurse started using sentences like 'the doctor will be digging around in there', and 'we'll have to cut through nerves and stuff'. 

So, then I started to maybe get a little...nervous. Not that anything will go wrong, just about pain. Because honestly, when people start telling you they have to cut through nerves and will be digging around in your gut, doesn't that sound a bit...painful? I did ask if there was any way - anyway! - they could possibly do a tummy tuck at the same time? Apparently, that's not his 'specialty'. Whatever.

The nurse assured me I'll have great drugs. That's good, I told her, because I loved the drugs they gave me when I had my wisdom teeth out, except I was so stoned that I couldn't stand up and I started yelling at nurses for being mean to me when they told me to stand up.  Seriously, who wouldn't be pissed?

I think that's when she said she hoped she wasn't on my shift.

Anyway, it should be fun. I get to spend hours and hours in bed for a real reason! Although, they did say I would get gas pain if I didn't walk around. Pshaw! What's a bit of gas pain? I have that ALL. THE. TIME. They don't KNOW from gas pain!

The hospital has WiFi (or FYI, as my ma says), so I'll be posting as I can. Hopefully they don't have some sort of weird filter system....