Uhm, I Pulled A "My Ma"

So, I've lost my TV remote. I'm not even kidding you, I used it last night, then suddenly I went to use it and it was gone. GONE!

I've looked in the garbage, in the recycling, in my shelves, in my bedroom, in the bathroom, in my TV stand, then double checked them all. I've looked in my oven, in my fridge and freezer, in my purse, in my gym bag, in my luggage (which I've since put away, BTW), under my sink, under the couch, in my dining room table drawer, in all of my cutlery drawers, under the dining room table....you get the picture.

I have no f*cking idea where the hell I put it. And it's killing me. I've looked in the toilet and even went as far as taking everything out of my pantry.

I remember a time when I was young when we lost the milk jug. And we found it outside on the dog house. We've bugged my ma about it ever since, because we always thought it was her. OH MY GOD! Am I turning into my ma????

Lord, help me.

Please.