Dearest

I have so many memories, and sometimes they bombard me.

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Us as youngsters, old enough not to take a bus but still very young, sitting in the Toronto airport on standby, going to visit our dad.  Having the second flight close without us. My head on her lap. Me sleeping (is anyone surprised?), but waking up as they called the final board.

Me: Is it us now?

Her, threading her hand through my hair: no sweetie, not yet. Go back to sleep.

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Her: I've been calling you for two days. What is up?

Me (not doing well, at a bar at 2 p.m.): I'm fine, no worries.

Her: I'm booking a ticket right now. You are coming back with me.

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When we were young, visiting our gramma going to see The Colour Purple for the first time. Hearing "Miss Celie's Blues". Calling her/ her calling me everytime that movie was on. Hearing Canadian Molly Johnson sing it.

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Calling her everytime Sense and Sensibility came on. "Dearest....Please, do not leave me alone."

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She is in, around, behind and before me everyday. God, I miss her so much. I just want to talk to her. I want to talk to her everyday. She was part of my soul, and I feel robbed of her. I am thankful for the time I had. But she is gone way too early. Not just for me, but for everyone she saved.