I TOLD you!!!!

Remember when I said that my belly could grow anything but babies?


Picture it: September 4th, 2014.  I went to visit my Dad for his birthday, and lost five bucks to him at crib. I think that's what set this whole this off - the loss, I mean - because later that night I started to get this pain in my side. The next day, it got a bit worse. By Saturday, I could feel it enough that it really started to bother me. By that night, I was Googling "left abdomen pain" and discovering everything from pancreatic cancer to a flipped stomach.


I didn't sleep on Saturday night because the pain was so bad. And on Sunday morning, I decided to go to the hospital.


****A brief history of RedKap at the hospital****


Two years ago, a little fibroid decided that my belly was the perfect place to lay down some roots. It was a nice, warm, smushy place to live. So, it worked on a foundation, built its house and moved in.


But the rest of my body did not like this fibroid. It wanted it out. So did the doctor. So we all went to the hospital and the doctor ripped the fibroid out. What no one heard was the little fibroid yelling in an Italian accent:


"YOU WILL RUE THE DAY! I WILL RETURN! HA HA HA HA!"


I think that last part was supposed to be an evil laugh.


Two years later, that little fibroid got his revenge. I call it a 'him' because only boys can be this jerky. That little fibroid left behind many little friends, who all started growing all over the place. Little sh*ts.


So, back to the hospital. But what we didn't hear was one of the little fibroids yelling in an Italian accent:


"HA HA HA! YOU THINK THIS IS THE END? YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE OUT A UTERUS AND THAT'S IT? YOU ARE WRONG, BABY! HA HA HA!!"


****and back to Sunday***


So, off I go to the hospital, where they get me in right away and in for a CAT scan. They said it looked like kidney stones but were having a hard time seeing it because of all the scar tissue around my bladder.


I was in a lot of pain by this point - in tears, actually - so this very nice resident told a nurse to "get her something...NOW". They gave me a shot of something and suddenly I was in heaven with unicorns crapping rainbows. I LOVE THE DRUGS!


So now I am home, waiting, waiting to give birth to a kidney stone.


Sigh...