Dear Sister

It's been a week since you left us. During that week, you made ma and me share a hotel room. We could both kill you for that.

Your service was small and beautiful, in a way I hope you would have loved. In a strange twist of fate, the Minister was the same one who did dad Bill's service in 2002. So, you know, a sign. Cheri and crazy Jim delivered eulogies. We played songs, including "Traffic Jam", just to give folks an idea of your sense of humour. It was lovely. But you already knew that, didn't you?

In another unfortunate twist of fate, Uncle Jim suffered a fast and irregular heartbeat the day he arrived, meaning he was hospitalized the day after he arrived. He made it to the service, but that news almost sent me over the edge. Speaking of which, ma is still trying to deal with the loss of her first born. Our younger brother is trying his best to be a rock, but you know what a marshmallow he is when it comes to family. Especially this. He is lost. He doesn't know how to handle this, to be honest, but we will help him through. I admit I *may* have been a bit "big sister-ish" with him to the point it annoyed him. Maybe.

Everyone has been so very supportive and generous. Dad J, Uncle B, Sandy, Cheri, Scott, and crazy Jim to name a few. A lot of others provided food, so much that there was no more room in the fridge. I did my best to eat it, I did. But honestly, there is only so much cheese one person can eat!

Of course, we all are focussed on your beloved. Crazy Jim and Scott really provided him with a much needed break. Especially crazy Jim who kept trying to get Scott A to kiss him. I just want you to know we will take care of him, I promise. He is family...whether he likes it or not! We may be dysfunctional, but at least we admit it. And hell, we're fun! Sometimes.

Dear, I miss you so much. The fact that I can't hear you say "Hi, it's just me" kills me. I don't know what I am going to do. You are my grounding, the one who came and picked my soggy body up and dragged me back to life. How do I help ma and our little brother and others through this? I just need a sign. Please, please....

PS - Did I mention ma and I had to share a hotel room? Please contact me to discuss....