Kobotose

I was babysitting my ma’s dog Kobo not too long ago – you know, the one that likes to grab anything he can: socks, underwear, slippers, onions/bananas/ avocados if they are in his reach…basically anything you can imagine. I tried my best to Kobo-ize the house so that he couldn’t get his little mouth on anything and I wouldn’t have to chase him around the house screaming “THIS IS NOT A GAME!” while he pranced and darted around me saying “LET’S SEE YOU DANCE, HUMAN!”


He’s special, that dog.

So anyhow, I hopped into the shower and left him in the living room, hoping and praying that when I came out I would have a) a house left, b) intact bras and underwear, c) no shredded Kleenex/ toilet paper all over my living room, and d) food left. You just never know with this kid, let me tell you. Rox, of course, was right by side the entire time he was over, like she normally is when we have visitors of the human or canine kind.

I jumped out of the shower, stepping on Rox in the process, and was towelling myself off when I realized something: it was quiet. Too quiet. The kind of quiet that sends shivers down your spine when you know there is a Kobo-dog in your living room.

I jumped into the living room, only to find him all curled up on my chair. Aww, sweet little thing. He is so damn cute when he’s not being a jerk.

I went back to blow dry my hair, which takes so long that by the time I’m finished I need another shower. As I was putting the blow dryer away (look at me! Putting things away!), I realized again how eerily quiet it was. So I jumped back into the living room prepared to find him up to his eyeballs in paper towel. But again, there he was, curled up on the chair.

This was SO not like him. I mean, his name should be changed to “Drop it!” or “Down!” And just as I started to worry a bit, as I went over to pat him, I saw it. I saw the reason this dog was being so ‘good’.

He had chewed and downed an entire bottle of Roxy’s anti-anxiety medication. The stuff I use to calm her down during thunderstorms.

An. Entire. Bottle.

The dog was out like a light. Comatose. Or in this case, Kobotose. I had to wake him up in order to bring him back to my ma’s, where he promptly fell right back asleep – and that was 4 hours later.

Serves him right, but that turd owes my $24.50.