Know What?

I am f*cking amazing. And I didn't even know it.

I spent last Sunday cooking. And if you know me, you know I. Don't. Cook. Like, at all. I made stew and a pork shoulder roast, and can I go on a tangent for a second? The reason I had the shoulder roast in the first place is because I don't cook. Did I mention that already?

Let me explain.

Christmas, 2011. My sister told me to buy a 'smoked pork shoulder'. She then went into a whole series of explanations about it: it's a HAM; it's in NETTING; it has the BONE IN; it's a very common cut...she essentially told me everything except drew me a picture.

So, being the culinary expert I am....I bought a pork shoulder. It was pork, and it was a shoulder, and it had the bone in. I couldn't find anything that said 'smoked pork shoulder', so I thought - whatever. Same same.

When I called my sister with the purchase, she was like "uhm, but I asked you to pick up a SMOKED pork shoulder."

Me: "...and I couldn't find one! So I bought the next best thing!"

Her: "Dude, do you not know the difference between a PORK shoulder and a SMOKED pork shoulder - a.k.a. HAM?"

Me: "Uhhhhhh....they both come from pigs?"

You can see where this went. My ma had to take me to buy the right thing, which is exactly what my sister mentioned. And it was RIGHT. THERE. In the middle of the grocery store. I was looking in the wrong place. I know! Me, in the wrong place, in a grocery store! Who'd a thunk it?

Anyhow, my ma found the most unbelievable pork shoulder recipe, which I made in addition to my pesky-brother-in-law's stew recipe, and I spent all day Sunday cooking. And it was...so...f*cking unbelievable. The pork -- THE PORK -- was, well, it was crazy good. The first night it was good. The second night it was better. the third night...well, the third night, I almost peed my pants when I ate it. It is so good.

And the stew. The stew was so fabuloulistic. I'm in love with this stew recipe.

And I made it.

I made it.