This is My Life

So the other day I went out for lunch with a friend of mine, who unlike me can tend to be extremely loud in public places.


Ahem.

Anyhow, there we were, stuffing our faces with Chinese food over lunch. She introduced me to this noodle dish that I can’t seem to live without. Funny how that happens. Things are going along tickety-boo and then WHAM! Your life depends on the availability of Chinese noodles.

Anyhow, after gorging ourselves with the greasy food, we get our fortunes. And I’m not even kidding you, this is what mine said:

“Here we go. Eat low-fat, whole wheat and drink green tea.”

Yes, a fortune cookie was telling me to go on a diet.

I was so stunned, I just sat there and stared at it. I mean, you can’t even play the ‘in bed’ game with that fortune. “Eat low-fat, whole wheat and drink green tea….in bed.” That’s just not funny.

I handed it over to my friend, who read it and promptly declared it “UNACCEPTABLE!” while ripping the fortune into tiny pieces. Then, when we were ready to pay, she marched up to the counter and told the little Chinese lady at the cash register that she “would like to lodge a complaint against one of our fortunes”.

So, the lady handed us an entire basket of fortunes. My friend grabbed one and said “here, this one will be better.”

So I opened it. It started with “A Kiss?”

Oh, this was sounding good. Then I continued reading…

“A Kiss? Wholeness of the heart can only occur when you are no longer alone.”

Seriously? I need to go on a diet AND not be a lonely broken-hearted loser?

My friend grabbed that one, shot in the garbage and told me that we make our own fortunes anyways, so not to pay attention.

That coming from someone whose fortune basically told her she would "experience the universe…in bed.”
Sigh.