So my sister was up last week for a bit. She stayed at my little house where I sleep on a QUEEN SIZE BED! And yes, every time I mention it now, QUEEN SIZE BED! will be in caps. Because after living without that big, beautiful bed for a while, I realize the power of the QUEEN SIZE BED! I must give it the respect it deserves.
Anyhow, one day we had to meet my mother out at her storage unit. We took my NEW CAR (I know, I know, but it’s my NEW CAR! I’ll stop capitalizing that when the novelty wears off…), and this is sort of how our drive went:
Me: We have to listen to my GLEE cd. I love, love, love it! It’s so much fun to listen to.
Her: Uhm, ok…just watch where you’re going there – I see a bus.
Me: Bus? Where? Oh that one. Way far away. Ok, let’s start with “Gold Digger” – it’s such a great version!
Her: Uh, ok…
Me: “…I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger..”
Her: Speed limit, Redkap…it’s only 50 here…
Me: “Get down, girl, go head get down…”
Her: Oh dear.
Me: “…if you ain’t no punk, holla we want prenup – WE WANT PRENUP! YEAH!..”
Her: I think there’s a stop sign coming…
Me: Oh! Let’s listen to “Maybe this Time”! It’s such a great sing-a-long one!
Her: Aren’t you a little close to that car?
Me: “…Maybe this tiiime, I’ll be luckkyy, maybe this time he’ll staayyyyyy…”
Her: I’m suddenly getting a headache.
Me: Come on! Sing a-long! “Everyboodyyyy loves a winnnerrr…”
Her: I’ll sing a-long when you put two full car lengths between you and the car ahead of you.
Me: “…So nobody looooves meeee…”
Her: Redkap, honestly...can you just...
Me: “…Mayybeeee this tiiiiiimmme, IIII’LLL wwwiiinnnnnnn!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
Her: Wow. I…I think my eardrum just popped.
Apparently she thinks I’m not a good driver. I’m just comfortable on the road, is all.
She drove back with my mom.
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