Voice Rest

Hello! I am sick. again. I blame those two snotty-nosed kids who came to visit over Easter weekend. Yes, yes, the same ones I go on and on about and tell you how much I love them. Those two bitches.

Anyhow, I was told by the doctor today to go on 'voice rest'. This is entirely amusing to those who know me, and know me well, because all I do is talk. Talk, talk, talk. I once had a male friend who when I hit a certain pitch would wince and say "I'm getting a pain behind my right eye..." I made the mistake of telling that to my pesky-brother-in-law and know he quotes it all the time. Jerk.

Yes, I am that person.

ANYHOW, this whole lost-voice-thing has taken some getting used to. Example:

"(wheeze)ox(wheeze)! S(wheeze)p (wheeze)ar(wheeze)ng!"
Translation: Roxy! Stop barking!

"Do (wheeze)na go (wheeze)side?"
Translation: Do you wanna go outside?

"(wheeze, wheeze, wheeze)!"
Translation: Ha ha ha!

"Do(wheeze) (wheeze) a j(wheeze)"
Translation: Don't be a jerk!

"Hi! Is (wheeze) a cl(wheeze) (wheeze)day?"
Translation: Hi! Is there an open clinic today?

"I'd (wheeze) a l(wheeze) (wheeze)za wi(wheeze) chick(wheeze), (wheeze) and mu(wheeze). And (wheeze) you (wheeze) th(wheeze) (wheeze)?
Translation: I'd like a pizza with chicken, onions and mushrooms. And do you have thin crust?

OK, that last one I haven't tried yet, but I may just for fun.

I am heading to my sister and pesky-brother-in-law's this weekend, and after talking (wheezing) to said brother-in-law tonight, I am determined to be able to speak when I get there. That'll show him for making fun of me. Jerk.