Me: So, J**** and I broke up.
Roxy: Blank stare.
Me: Again.
Roxy: Blank stare.
Me: Aren't dogs supposed to have a sixth sense about these things? Aren't you supposed to be comforting me in my time of need?
Roxy: Blank stare.
Me: Blank stare.
Roxy: Yawns. Blank stare.
Me: Man, all I want to do is curl up with a bottle of rum and stuff my mouth with cookies.
Roxy: Ears perked. Tail wagging. Excited panting.
Me: Are you serious? I'm having a crisis and all you can think about is your stomach? You're so selfish.
Roxy: Burp.
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